Tapping Into Me

The first year of motherhood was…amazing, beautiful…but consuming.  Being a mother to an infant consumed EVERY part of me physically and emotionally!  I thought about Bean in everything that I did.  I don’t want to say that I was obsessive about him because of the negative connotation, but I kept him in mind in ALL of my decisions…small and large.  Needless to say, I was exhausted most of the time!

After Bean’s first birthday, there was a shift for me.  I feel a new sense of confidence.  I also feel a sense of release.   I’ve released a lot of the unnecessary stress that I was putting on myself.  I feel less guilt… about being a working mom, about having date nights, about making my physical health a priority.  I feel my other roles have more space to grow and thrive.  What sparked this change?

Well, Bean turning one was a major step for me.  Aside from him just being a sturdy kid, he’s healthy, happy, and thriving!  We did this…we just have to continue keeping him healthy, happy, and thriving.  There’s a saying that I’ve heard and used often:  It takes 21 days to create a habit.  Well, it took a 365 days for me to feel the confidence of being a parent.  Yes, I know the challenges will only increase, but I have a new sense of sturdiness and belief that we can figure it out as parents.  It’s a wonderful feeling.

Secondly…I stopped pumping.  Do you know how much time I have now?!  HA!  I can take on the world! No, seriously.  I will happily embrace breastfeeding and pumping for our next child, but it took serious discipline.  There were a lot of tears trying to keep up with the milk supply needed for Bean.  I really stressed myself out at times which is counterproductive on all levels.   So while we’re still nursing, he enjoys other beverage options while I’m away from him.  It’s working out well and I love the new found flexibility!  Whew…

With this new sense of self, I’m working on stretching and growing in new ways:

  • Intentional date nights.  We’re more than parents to an amazing kid.  We’re partners, friends, and lovers…and it’s important to take time for us to keep our foundation sturdy!
  • Style. If I’m honest, I had no clue how to dress my body after Bean.  I had never thought of what my style was previously, but I wasn’t feeling anything in my closet.  Revamping my wardrobe was one of the best things I’ve done for myself this year!  My workout clothes are for working out only now! I feel amazing, sexy, and confident!  Invest in yourself!
  • Working out. I’ve also been intentional about working out with an increased level of consistency and intensity.  I have firmly committed to taking at least 35 minutes for daily physical activity.  I owe it to myself and my body thanks me…even if it’s through soreness.

I’m excited to share some new things with you in the very near future!  How are you tapping into the different pieces of you?


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